The destroyer of (ant) worlds

Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!

- A Time to Kill, 1996

This summer, the house has had a lot of visitors. Unwelcome visitors. Carpenter ants. I freaking hate having bugs in the house, and this is the first time it's lasted more than a few days, and has gone into other areas of the house besides the kitchen.

Mom called an exterminator, and they wanted over $400 to nuke the bastards. She didn't want to pay that, so she bought a big bottle of something and has been spraying them in the basement. There aren't as many, but they remain. They're not coming upstairs anymore. I would go in the bathroom and they would be wandering around the bathtub, which caused me to get my shoe out and commence to clobbering time.

I've become more and more angry when I see my little housemates. I bought ant traps for the upstairs bathroom (don't know if they worked, but they're not there, so I'm happy), and when they get brave and wander the kitchen, it's like I'm possessed. You think they would learn after a couple of massacres. I caught one in a jar and stuck it in the freezer in order to properly identify it. Yep, it's a carpenter ant. I like to know my enemy.

They like to come out when I turn on the stove to cook something. Last night, one of them got brave and walked onto one of the registers. I watched, I waited. When it got right in the middle of the burner, I turned the gas on. The satisfaction was just...indescribable. I dare say I experienced a little bit of glee.

It's like I'm becoming Dexter to ants. Or maybe just Robert Oppenheimer... on a much smaller and far less lethal scale. Not lethal to people, anyway.


It's a little disturbing if I think about too long, but ants in the house really get on my nerves. They should stay outside where they belong.

In closing, I don't like ants.